Bittersweet

Just days before celebrating our first Christmas with Asher, my grandma Mae passed away. She was 92 1/2 years old and I miss her in so many big and small ways each and every day. I was sharing with a friend how some people try to console me by saying since she was 92 it was inevitable to lose her someday, but I was just so very not prepared for it to be now and the friend said to me that it was probably harder to lose someone that old because you have so many years to create memories with them. And that's exactly how I feel. It is SO hard because we DO have so many great memories and although that makes it easier to celebrate her life, it makes it that much more difficult to say goodbye.

There are many, many lessons my grandma Mae taught me through the years and I just can't do it justice (and haven't processed through it all) to go into details here and now. Lawrence shared a great eulogy at the funeral that I hope he uploads at some point. But suffice it to say, I have a great big hole in my heart and lots of wonderful memories in my head. I was able to hold her as she took her last breath, and for that I will be eternally grateful. And I feel oh so fortunate that she was able to meet Asher and I know seeing him brought her joy in her last few months. I also feel so lucky that we were able to have some good laughs with her right up until the end, including during her last card game at our house in late October. I don't even remember what exactly got us laughing so hard, but here are a sequence of photos that Lawrence took that night. And for the record, she and Lawrence beat me and my Aunt Janet.

Motherhood...

It's not as glamorous as they make it out to be in the movies.

Half Ape?

We all know the difference between man and ape is opposable thumbs (and one heck of a haircut, of course). Well, as of yesterday I suppose I'm half ape now because I only have one opposable thumb. The other one is currently encased in a hard cast/wrap all the way up to my elbow. Turns out I have De Quervain's Tenosynovitis. It's a fancy named version of tendinitis which has caused a sharp pain between my wrist and thumb on my left hand. Lucky it's my left hand, you say? That is, until you remember that I'm left handed and then it's a double bummer. Apparently this type of injury is somewhat common with new moms. Thanks, as if I needed another challenge these days. What, was the weight gain, acne, hemorrhoids, sleep loss, heartburn and LABOR not enough to go through the past few months!?? Awesome.

Do you realize how many times a day you use your thumb? Try buttoning your jeans without a thumb. Try texting, calling or emailing without a thumb. Try changing a diaper without a thumb and with a log-sized appendage attached to your forearm. It's not working very well. Luckily it isn't a full cast so I can unwrap it and pull it off when I need to (you know, for the days I feel like showering or when I don't feel like wearing elastic waistbanded pants). However, the doctor was very clear that it isn't going to get better unless I rest my thumb for a few weeks. Perfect. Happy holidays, thumb! I'm glad somebody gets to rest around here this holiday season.

Close Encounters

Just for the record, the kid was there first! I think this is the first time Harley has even gotten within two feet of Asher, nevermind practically sitting on his head. Don't you worry- I would have intervened before death by cat hair ensued.

Holiday Decor?

Apparently Lawrence wanted to remind me he was still working while I was out of town. Why else would he have left all these wonderful work flip chart pages all over the living room?

Christmas Video

Here I was thinking it would be great if we could get Christmas cards out this year and then this family goes and does THIS and I just think to myself, what’s the point if we can’t even come close to being this cool? And turns out they've been that cool for years. We're way behind.

First Day Jitters

Last week Asher started day care. We found an amazing woman to watch him. She has three other little boys that she watches as well (one 1yr old and two 2yrs old) so he will have some buddies once he's old enough to play. And it's not a moment too soon since I started back to work the week before Thanksgiving and despite what some may think, it is just NOT feasible to have a kid at home when you work from home.

Lawrence and I had long ago decided we wanted to start some new traditions with our family (once we had one) and one thing we wanted to do was take a first day of school picture every year. Well, since this was essentially Asher's first day of day care "school" I couldn't resist starting the tradition now. However, I'm not sure he was too excited. Maybe it was the fact he was all bundled up, or maybe it was the fact his mommy was a little teary-eyed. Or maybe he's just always going to be one of those kids who is grumpy on the first day of school.

 It doesn't help that he scratched the heck out of his face at church the Sunday before - he looks like some kid already took him behind the gym at recess and beat him up!

Rest assured, he doesn't look this scared or sad every day.