Step Off, Pig

Either an alien has entered my body and is trying desperately to get out by turning into straight liquid form and violently excaping my body through various orfices OR I have the flu. I was betting on the alien up until about 3am and now have given up all hope against hope and have resigned myself that I have just become one more statistic in the H1N1 reports.

The CDC's website (what else do I have to do at 4am when waiting for the next bout to come on than surf the internet to verify my symptoms- yes, I am turning into my mother!) states:

What are the signs and symptoms of this virus in people?
The symptoms of 2009 H1N1 flu virus in people include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. A significant number of people who have been infected with this virus also have reported diarrhea and vomiting.

Yup, check all those twice. Awesome.

The good news is, I could eat whatever I want right now because everything just comes back up. The bad news is, I don’t want to eat anything because everything just comes back up. It started last night at dinner. We were out at a really nice restaurant with Donna and Bernardo (who graciously came to visit this weekend to help us with our landscaping!) and I had to get up twice to go to the bathroom and it hasn't stopped since. I felt fine when I ordered and by the time the salad came, just looking at made me want to puke. So I did.

Yuck! I want my mommy (although truth be told, she's never been good around puking people so I really just want her in theory). I'd rather have a really hot male nurse who will stroke my hair back and tell me everything is going to be okay. Until he shows up, Lawrence makes a great stand in.