Open mouth, Insert foot.

Have you ever said something and as soon as it ventured from your lips and cast its words out into the world you wanted to immediately reel it back into your mouth, stuffing it as far down your throat as it could go in hopes to stop the sounds from getting to someone else's ear? Yeah. That's the month day I had. I'd like to blame it on the lack of blood flow to my brain these days, but there's probably no valid excuse. I can only say I'm sorry and I'll try to stop my foot from getting anywhere near my face in the future. I can't even see my feet these days without bending over, so you would think this would be easier for me.

Secret to a Better Marriage

Just when I was beginning to wonder what to put on my birthday list, they went and created the perfect gift. I think I'll add this to my go-to pile of surefire wedding gifts! :) They call it the Official Better Marriage Blanket and they say that it's an as seen on TV special, but I must not be watching TV at the right times because I haven't seen it before. It "Completely & Quickly Absorbs The Odor Of Flatulence". How's that for a selling point?!

Here's my favorite marketing line from their web site:
•Contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons


Ha! I love it! I wonder if they provide one to every solider when they give him an MRE with beans in it, too?

{courtesy of Apartment Therapy}

Man Cave

A few weeks ago, Lawrence went to a tupperware Man Cave party. If these haven't hit your neighborhood yet, they soon will, so wives, hide the checkbooks now. Our neighbor Andy hosted the little shindig (you can read more about the famous Andy here), and even though I thought I was safe from a sale since our grill was BROKEN, Lawrence still managed to come home with $60 worth of brats and pork chops. What's that saying about selling ice to an eskimo? Yeah. Oh, and did I mention we then had to spend $40 to get the grill fixed? Double yeah. I don't want to hear it the next time I come home from a jewelry party with a new bracelet or earrings, boys.

Growing Old.

Recently my grandma's longtime companion passed away. We called him her boyfriend, but it was so much more than that when you're 91. They spent every waking moment together, drinking coffee, playing cards, holding hands in the dark while watching football. And now that she doesn't have a companion, I'm not quite sure what will happen to her in the months to come. It reminded me that I never want to get old. And if I do get old, Lawrence better be right there beside me. It also reminded me about the lack of happy alternatives to living arrangements there are out there for old people. So this morning when I ran accross the Eden Alternative and their 10 Principles it gave me some hope. I'm not sure how much they have caught on at assisted living facilities here in central Iowa, but hopefully over the next 50 years we'll come around.

1. The three plagues of loneliness, helplessness, and boredom account for the bulk of suffering among our Elders.


2. An Elder-centered community commits to creating a human habitat where life revolves around close and continuing contact with plants, animals, and children. It is these relationships that provide the young and old alike with a pathway to a life worth living.

3. Loving companionship is the antidote to loneliness. Elders deserve easy access to human and animal companionship.

4. An Elder-centered community creates opportunity to give as well as receive care. This is the antidote to helplessness.

5. An Elder-centered community imbues daily life with variety and spontaneity by creating an environment in which unexpected and unpredictable interactions and happenings can take place. This is the antidote to boredom.

6. Meaningless activity corrodes the human spirit. The opportunity to do things that we find meaningful is essential to human health.

7. Medical treatment should be the servant of genuine human caring, never its master.
8. An Elder-centered community honors its Elders by de-emphasizing top-down bureaucratic authority, seeking instead to place the maximum possible decision-making authority into the hands of the Elders or into the hands of those closest to them.
9. Creating an Elder-centered community is a never-ending process. Human growth must never be separated from human life.
10. Wise leadership is the lifeblood of any struggle against the three plagues. For it, there can be no substitute.

Mature?

Is there a grown up way to tell someone you think they suck? Please advise.

I made GRASS!

This must have been how the first caveman felt who made fire. I'm sure of it. I feel like running out into the street and shouting it into the air for all to hear (however I think our neighbors would be doubtful since we haven't made *any* grass in the front yard to speak of... yet). I potted a little potful of grass and an egg carton full and both are sprouting beautifully just in time for Easter. I had them in the kitchen getting a bit of morning light each day but this morning Lawrence surprised me by putting the pot on my desk which was a happy little Good Friday surprise. However, I'm finding it a bit distracting because all I want to do is reach out and spin the pinwheel.

Doesn't it just scream "Wheeeeeeee.... spring is here!"? Maybe you have to see it in person to get the full effect... (Bailey doesn't seem too impressed in the background)

PS- the gass is doing double duty also because it's wheat grass, so once we're done looking at we can juice it. Bottoms up!

Poor Loser?

So Bab's and I make an effort to spend quality time with her Grandma Mae (and BF Joe) whenever we can. The typical visit is usually on a Sunday afternoon where we go down for lunch (she calls it Dinner) to find a very tasty roast of some sort cooking away in the oven while she prepares all the fixin's to go along with the main course. Most of the time I'm responsible for making gravy from scratch (something she taught me to perfection) with a little oversight from Mae.

After cramming our belly's full of good homecooking we squeeze in some serious card playing. We play boys vs. girls as it would just be unfair for Brandy and I to team up on the "old folks"...don't tell her I said that!

Undoubtedly what ensues is an old fashioned butt kickin' by Joe and I in any of the games we play. We rule at cribbage, canasta, pitch, and most recently hand and foot. It's funny because Mae gets really upset when I win. Not when Joe wins, but when yours truly puts the smack down.

I thought it was important to capture the moment so you could all share in the fun. So see the video below. It's Mae in all her glory...whining about losing. (In full disclosure Brandy and Mae actually beat us this time...but only by 100 points or so!)